"You chased Alpha. I embraced Beta. You lost your mind. I found peace."
Contract Address:
TBA
✅ CA Copied!
You wanted Alpha returns.
You bought meme coins, low caps, frogs, cats, even that coin your Uber driver shilled.
You shorted BTC because "you saw the macro trend."
Then BTC quietly climbed from $74K to $107K.
Your portfolio? Slashed. Your meme coins? Gone. Your soul? Crushed.
You didn't just miss Alpha.
You missed Beta.
And now, you're emotionally tormented.
That's where we come in:
$BETA is the true Alpha for pain-sharing, satire, and collective healing.
| Asset | Return | Mental State | Volatility | Community Vibe |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BTC | +45% | 😌 Zen | Moderate | "Should've held..." |
| Your Coins | -72% | 😭 Exploded | Extreme | "Never buying again" |
| $BETA | +1001% | 🧠 Healed | Inexpressible | "At least I'm not alone" |
Get Paid for Holding Regret
We turned emotional damage... into passive income.
Introducing the $BETA Fund — a protocol-managed pool that redistributes real crypto revenue to those who deserve it most: The ones who've suffered enough already.
You don't need to mint NFTs.
You don't need to prove how bad your trades were.
You just need to hold $BETA — and we'll handle the rest.
• Earn from investing all BETA assets and trades
• Optional "regret submission" fees from users who post their worst trades
• Merch profits (hoodies, mugs, and tear-absorbing tissues)
• Meme licensing deals (because pain is a brand now)
• Rewards are distributed proportionally based on your token holdings
• No staking required — just hold and cope
• The suffering does the work for you
• Rewards (Beta Assets or stablecoins) sent to $BETA holders
• Track your income and shame side-by-side
• Automated distribution system
The more people suffer in the market, the more the Fund grows.
The more $BETA you hold, the more you're compensated... for surviving.
This is yield farming powered by collective pain.
"Holding $BETA won't make you rich. But at least it pays more than holding your shame alone."
Join the community that found Alpha in accepting Beta. Your emotional damage deserves compensation.
Buy $BETA Now